This is the first in a weekly ‘how to …’ series of blogs. For the next few weeks I’ve planned posts on how to unwind mindfully at the end of a stressful day, how to meditate when you feel too anxious to meditate, and how to make the most of binaural beats (a rapid way of achieving a meditative state), and much more. When you’d like to know more about how deal with stress using meditation and mindfulness, do leave a comment below – or contact me – and I’ll consider posting or answer you directly.
Setting up your day to mindfully resolve stress can be one the most important steps in dealing with stress and anxiety. Sometimes we wake up already feeling stressed … our mind has been churning things over sleeping (even if not actually awakening in a cold sweat at 3 a.m.) and so our waking thoughts are stressful even before the first sip of coffee. Sometimes we knowing a stressful day at work lies ahead. Sometimes we don’t know why we feel stressed – we just do.
It’s important to totally believe that we create our own reality. Sometimes this is where resistance appears and we are convinced we are at the mercy of external events. If you are resisting that idea, just play along for now and see what happens.
Creating our own reality is a double-edged sword though. Of course, we want to create a reality in which we are dealing with all life throws at us easily; where we are in a state of flow at all times.
The other edge of the sword is that we create a reality where we feel stress whatever happens, no matter how trivial. Notice these two sides of reality creation when we react in different ways to exactly the same incidents. For example (one from my own reality) – on a good day, a car parked so it is blocking the pavement is understandable because the driver was clearly seeking to avoid blocking passing traffic. On a bad day, the same car parked in the same way is, at the very least, irritating – paths are for pedestrians and too much urban space are given over to cars at it is. In creating our own reality we are setting ourselves up for more of the same, for better or worse. So make it a better reality.
How does all this allow you to set up for a good day? One where you are present, in the flow, and letting go of stress rapidly?
Start the night before. As you drift off to sleep, mentally review the highlights of your day. Just the good bits. The times you smiled and laughed, when you received or gave a compliment, when you were congratulated for good work. (Don’t tell me there were not any of those moments! There will be, even if they seemed insignificant at the time).
As you recall those moments, notice where in your body you to feel especially good. You don’t need to do anything, just be aware as you drift off for a peaceful sleep.
As you awaken in the morning, in response to an alarm or naturally, notice you are already feeling calm. If that’s not true for you, simply notice the thoughts that are causing stress and anxiety, and observe them as they pass. Do not engage with them or attempt to resolve them. Simply observe, and thank them for serving you … as you let them go.
Now, if you have time, complete a mental body scan (the link is to a free resource of a body scan script you may wish to use). First, breathe in deeply, accepting the calm breath filling your lungs, then breathe out fully, letting go of any stress. Repeat three times, or as many times as is necessary to calm your mind and your body.
Finally, visualise your stress and anxiety-free calm place. Perhaps a favourite place from a holiday, or perhaps somewhere entirely imaginary. As you visualise see all the detail you can, and you might notice a feeling of deep calm throughout your body. You can return to this visualisation whenever it will be of use to you. Let go of the notion you may have been given as a child that daydreaming is bad for you. As you practice these mindful thought exercises more and more often, you will notice how good for you daydreaming and mindfulness is.
Enter your day, feeling calm, rested and ready to create your own positive reality for the day ahead.
You might want to make this a daily habit. Add 5-10 minutes to your morning routine to ensure you can relax into your mindfulness session without any added stress of thinking about running late! You could set a timer on your phone to end the session with a meditation bell, or use the Insight Timer app I posted about a few days ago. I’ll be adding a mindful audio version of this and future ‘how to …’ posts soon.